


i’m out of breath, it’s an emergency

by mercurialminds



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chenji if you squint, Fluff & Humor (i hope), I Am Sorry, Kissing, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Mentioned Lee Taeyong, One-sided crushes (or not?), Pining, Yukhei Is A Jock, donghyuck is devastatingly gorgeous, implied/referenced toxic relationship, mark in glasses agenda, mark is so in love, mild hyuckhei, school band, side nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25682953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialminds/pseuds/mercurialminds
Summary: Mark Lee, with his perpetual wire-framed glasses that is a tad too big for his small face and blue denim jeans that are always rolled up so high in the cuffs that you can practically see his ankle socks peek from his dirty white sneakers, isn’t all that bad.And he’s in a band that is decently known both in their small town and high school, as a vocalist and guitarist. Cool, right? If that doesn’t make your crush swoon over you and ask you out themself, what else?But here’s the problem: Mark’s crush isn’t like any other.For the love of the goddess, he’s in love with Lee Donghyuck.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 10
Kudos: 175





	i’m out of breath, it’s an emergency

**Author's Note:**

> hello!
> 
> here’s a few notes before we begin:  
> ♡ this fic was previously uploaded in another app but i deleted it bc i wasn’t rly happy with how it turned out so yeah! this is my second shot of this fic and i’m quite satisfied with this new version so i’m sharing it again fingers crossed  
> ♡ this fic is loosely inspired by the song “teenage dirtbag” by wheatus and it was originally the working title for this story but i changed it to the particular lyric of “fool” by nct 127 bc i think it rly captures the overall mood.  
> ♡ beware! the narration is overly dramatic so i’m very sorry if you’re scarred by the end of this fic lol  
> ♡ i was half dead when i beta-d this and half of the time i was like,,, is this even english?? so kindly forgive me if i slipped on some of the parts!!  
> ♡ pls pls pls ignore any inaccuracies  
> ♡ if you happen to spot the generous amount of song reference throughout, you get a kiss!
> 
> enjoy (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

“Dude, you’re drooling.” Jeno teases mildly, snapping Mark out of his stupor. His lips are turned upwards in an amused smile as he looks at his best friend, only to receive a smack on the arm.

“I’m not, you turd.” Mark grits his teeth, semi-annoyed, although his not-so-subtle gaze remains on a particular boy across from the hallways not too far away from them.

Mark Lee, with his perpetual wire-framed glasses that is a tad too big for his small face and blue denim jeans that are always rolled up so high in the cuffs that you can practically see his ankle socks peek from his dirty white sneakers, isn’t all that bad.

And he’s in a band that is decently known both in their small town and high school, as a vocalist and guitarist. Cool, right? If that doesn’t make your crush swoon over you and ask you out themself, what else?

But here’s the problem: Mark’s crush isn’t like any other.

For the love of the goddess, he’s in _love_ with Lee Donghyuck.

Lee Donghyuck who seems to have just descended from the heavens, a gift from the gods and the goddesses above in the form of a perfect human being, bequeathed upon the mere mortals to be graced with his presence and live by them in his entire lifetime, yet they don’t deserve him at all.

Lee Donghyuck who is all sunshine and stardusts; he doesn’t deserve to be on earth. He belongs to the heavens, where he can shine to the fullest and out of a faulty human’s touch. Because he’s so unattainable, so unparalleled, so pretty to look at that it hurts Mark’s eyes, and just so, _so_ untouchable.

But of course, they are all just in Mark’s silly head and his maybe slightly too biased way of thinking.

Because apparently, Donghyuck is not untouchable after all. He can be talked to, reached, approached, touched like a normal, imperfect person that he is and not just to be gawked at by Mark’s sincerely hopeless crush on him.

And this fact is proven that particular morning, as Mark observes him from across the hallway—just like any other day, everyday, because Mark refuses to head to his lecture without seeing Donghyuck first thing in the morning at school—and he’s eating faces with his boyfriend, Wong Yukhei.

Jeno quickly averts his gaze away from them, feigning a vomit, just like what any normal person would do when faced with an unnecessary public display of affection. But Mark is shameless so he continues to look.

Usually, he would do exactly like what Jeno is doing now, and maybe get red from harmless jealousy, but something doesn’t sit right in his gut right now. It’s telling him not to look away just yet and he listens.

Donghyuck is pressed against his own locker, Yukhei’s enormous built pressed onto him, gigantic hands framing the younger’s beautiful face as they continue to kiss. Mark notes the way Donghyuck’s arms are wrapped around some of his textbooks, leaving no hands to put on the other.

The students who pass by them don’t pay them mind, as it is such a usual occurrence that nobody is surprised anymore, instead hurrying off to their first period. Jeno tugs at Mark’s arm to usher them to their shared period but Mark doesn’t budge.

They seem to kiss endlessly, and it starts to put Mark in a state of agony, but he silently thanks the goddess above when the bell finally rings and the pair only then stopped.

When they part, Mark swears on his life that Donghyuck’s eyes land on him instantly, as if he’s expecting Mark to be there all along, on that exact spot, in front of his own locker, lingering on him too long. But it only happened in a fraction of a second that his mind almost tricked him that it didn’t take place at all, yet there’s still incessant feeling that pinches at his heart, and he knows it did.

Donghyuck’s eyes have always been beautiful, even if Mark never got the chance to see them up close in their full glory, but he knows this for a fact because everything about Donghyuck is beautiful. Wholly and sincerely.

His eyes, so bright and shiny and marvelous and so full of light like the whole sun is trapped in them, making him the center of the universe—Mark’s universe—spreading warmth and life at everything it reaches, including Mark’s whole being.

But this time, it doesn’t seem to shine. There’s no light to it. And that confuses Mark because they had never lose their light before. Because if they did, who would shine upon Mark?

“He looks... sad.” He muses out loud.

“Let’s just go before we’re noted as absents.” Jeno sighs heavily, tugging at his arm. Mark lets him drag him.

 _He doesn’t even know who you are, Mark Lee,_ he tells himself.

❀

“He looked sad.” Mark repeats over their lunch table, eyes trained on the stabbed baby carrot on his plate as he absently pokes around his half-eaten food.

He had told his friends about the faithful millisecond eye contact with Donghyuck this morning but none of them was even fazed at this point. His poor friends had already endured long, passionate years throughout their middle school and still going strong even in their senior year of high school of Mark pestering them about his one-sided love for Donghyuck to get at this point. Not that they’re complaining though, Mark has had his fair share of listening to their sad and dry love life from them.

“Stop musing so much over it, Hyung,” Jisung counters across from him. “If it really worries you, you can just approach him, y’know?”

Jeno snickers from his seat beside Mark. “Oh please. Jisung, if things are that simple, then Mark here would’ve long as in _long,_ I’m talking _years_ , did it, don’t you think so?”

Mark groans, embarrassed. He picks up a balled-up tissue and throws it right onto Jeno’s Adonis of a face just to spite him. “You’re talking like you’re this almighty Casanova yourself. Remind me again of your _equally famished_ nonexistent love life?”

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong or weird about having none,” Jisung pouts, ever the one in the group to ground the other two when their bickering starts getting out of hand. “We should enjoy this stage in our lives and accept the fact that we’re all still virgins in all sense of the word.”

“I... I actually had my first kiss already,” Jeno confesses quietly, out of literal nowhere, turning bright red.

“What?” Mark is almost incredulous. “You kissed someone and didn’t tell us?”

“It happened over the summer when I had those stupid swimming lessons in the public indoor pools that my dad forced me to take,” he sighs. “And he was a nobody, I don’t want to even think about it anymore.”

Mark narrows his eyes at him, sensing something that Jeno had purposely left something unvoiced. He knows Jeno. He knows him since they were in diapers along with Jisung. He knows him enough to think that he wouldn’t just kiss someone if they were a “nobody” to him. Mark knows when he’s being dishonest. But one look on his troubled face tells him to just drop it for now, save for another time. Jeno gives him a small smile.

“Park Jisung.” An unfamiliar yet oddly familiar voice hovers over their table, followed by a clatter of tray, a body occupying the seat next to the said boy, and an arm being slid around his shoulders. “So what do you say?”

Both Mark and Jeno gape obviously at the sight, seeing Zhong Chenle at the very front of their eyes, beside Jisung, _and_ an arm around him.

“W—What?” Jisung sputters.

“Are you courting our Jisung?” Jeno asks downright.

Chenle laughs at that, bright and unrestrained, just like his personality. He’s known around the school as someone who is genuinely amicable and Mark isn’t exaggerating if he were to say that Chenle is friends with everybody, especially Donghyuck’s circle of friends. He’s also an infamous flirt, although that title solely belongs to another friend of theirs, Na Jaemin.

“No, not that. But the idea is actually not bad, huh.” He winks at Jisung.

Jisung blushes and starts fidgeting anxiously with his fingers and Mark wishes he can magically whip out the boy’s drumsticks and hand it over to him so that he can magically ground himself back using his “most favorite thing in the world” (Jisung’s words, not his). Besides, Mark doesn't even know why he’s fidgeting so much.

Before he can dwell on that thought, Chenle speaks again. “I meant my invitation for your band to play at this year’s pre-summer festival.”

“Really?” Jeno perks up, loud, almost knocking his knees up the corners of the table when he abruptly stands.

Chenle nods affirmatively, smug.

“To what do we owe this pleasure?”

“Well,” Chenle starts, glancing at Jisung briefly. “Your good friend here helped me earlier with my struggles regarding this huge preparation so I figured I’d return the favor. I asked him right then and there, but he told me he’ll need your thoughts first.”

Both Mark and Jeno instantly shoot their friend a questioning look which somehow makes Jisung inclined to explain. “What? I happened to pass by when he dropped his art materials. I helped him pick those up.”

“Right,” Chenle confirms, nodding. “I’m the program planner this year so I can easily slide you guys in the setlist. So what do you say? Are you guys up for it?”

“Hell yeah!” Jeno says a bit too obnoxiously, drawing some of the attention to their table. Mark winces. “ _MAD DOG_ will grab any chance we get towards the future of the band!”

Both Jisung and Chenle clap to Jeno’s dramatic overly short monologue.

“It’s set then,” Chenle chirps.

“What’s set?” A voice calls over the back of Chenle, one that’s dripping with sweetness, mellow, and a pleasant sense of stickiness. Like honey. Like the rays of the sun clinging to your skin during midday summer, hot but pleasing at the same.

But Mark realizes way too late that only a certain person can trigger such feeling in him, and he’s a second too late to bolt out of his seat and make an escape because Donghyuck is already seating beside Chenle, and Mark is forced to seat there, paralyzed, _breathless_ , the air punched out of his lungs at the sight of the boy in front.

“Breathe, Mark,” Jeno whispers, a gentle reminder, subtly leaning towards him and giving his thigh a quick squeeze below the table. Jisung gives him an assuring smile across.

“Guess what, Hyuckie? I managed to recruit another stunning number that can be a great addition to the setlist! Their band is amazing!” Chenle happily fills his friend in the conversation.

Donghyuck nods, a small, pretty smile adorning his equally pretty face and Mark almost melts into a puddle of liquid on the ground, no bones, just a heap of liquified mess the color of love. “ _MAD DOG_ , is it?” He asks and his gaze lands particularly on Mark.

Mark sputters unintelligibly and incoherently, all the words he learned in his entire freaking eighteen years of existence flying out the window.

“The name of your band, that is.” Donghyuck clarifies, his eyes in a glint of amusement.

Mark curses himself in his head, wanting to just let the floor below swallow him whole so that he cannot embarrass himself further.

“Uh, yes.” He finally says, smiling sheepishly.

“Oh! I nearly forgot,” Chenle jumps in again, and Mark is more than happy for the interruption. He lets himself exhale the breath he didn’t even know he was holding the whole time he locked eyes with Donghyuck. “Hyuck, this is Jisung, Jeno,” he points to each smiling boy, “And this is—”

“Mark.” Donghyuck beats him to it. “Mark Lee. Yeah, I remember you, I _know_ you. I know all of you in fact.” He chirps happily, and he _giggles_. _Sweet Jesus_. Mark fights the urge to bite his lips, keeping a straight face on the outside as he feels his blood rush all over his body, strings pulling at his already fragile heart for the boy.

Did Lee Donghyuck just said his name and claimed he knows them? Lee _freaking_ Donghyuck? Out of all the words he could’ve imagined him to say, his name would be last on the list, probably not even on the said list. But he did and oh my god, it feels so good in Mark’s ears. Maybe he’s being a little too greedy right now, but he wants— _needs_ —to hear it again. Preferably right at this goddamn second.

“I'm a fan of your band, especially you, Mark. Your voice is just... sublime,” he adds, as if Mark isn’t struggling already.

Is he really hearing things right? Does he need to pinch himself hard to stop making things up? But this is reality, and he isn’t hearing things nor does he need to pinch himself. Donghyuck knows them, is a fan of their band and said his voice is sublime. Splendid. Divine. Perfect. Exalted.

He wants to protest, wants to say that his voice is anything but sublime, wants to refute and tell Donghyuck that he himself is sublime, in all sense of the word. But all he says sadly is a shy, “Thank you, Donghyuck.”

It feels weird for the name to roll out of his tongue, directed personally to Donghyuck. Sure, he’s said the name countless of times to his friends, even in his head, but this. This is just so out of the ordinary.

But then Donghyuck sends a smile his way, mild but it blinds Mark anyway, and everything is okay.

 _So much for not knowing you at all, Mark Lee_ , he thinks.

❀

In the imaginary social classification that exists in high school, Mark never considers himself to be of the same with Donghyuck. To be fair, Mark has always been aloof and shy to begin with and thus, resulting to him having a rather small circle of friends. Jeno and Jisung as his best friends, of course. On the other hand, Donghyuck, as he should, hangs out with the popular ones as he is a royalty himself. Donghyuck is a social butterfly, he naturally attracts people.

But there’s one thing, or rather one friend, that they have in similar and that comes by the form of a small Chinese kid with a knife on his tongue and such confidence that Mark aspires to have that goes by the name Huang Renjun.

Renjun, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Chenle have been friends since they were in middle school but in some ways more than one, Renjun is different. He doesn’t go to parties, takes school very seriously, and he doesn’t just hang out with their crowd, he actually befriends students that are less popular like Mark.

They were walking across the quad, having just finished the last period of the day in which they shared, and Renjun is grumbling something about Donghyuck ditching their plans of walking home together that afternoon.

“God, he’s so infuriating but what’s new under the sun? Do you know I had to sit through the whole lunch break watching him sulk because he got into a fight with Yukhei _yet_ again?” Renjun drones on and Mark being Mark, even though Donghyuck and he are not exactly friends and he doesn’t even know what’s going on, just nods because he doesn’t have the heart to point out Renjun’s tendency to overshare.

Just then, they spot Yukhei under the shade of a huge tree, in the company of the resident jocks as per usual. He’s talking animatedly to them, mouth stretched so wide in a smile that it’s almost comical.

Mark hears Renjun sigh beside him before he calls out to the boy. Yukhei turns and greets them (just Renjun really, he doesn’t even acknowledge Mark) with that obnoxious baritone voice of his. “Hey!”

For a moment, Mark considers it the best timing to part ways with Renjun but then the petite boy speaks.

“Have you seen Donghyuck?”

“What?” Yukhei asks, his face twisted in confusion as he takes his butt off the grass to approach them. He excuses himself from his team. “No, I haven’t seen him since this morning. I thought you guys made plans to go home together.”

“Well yeah? That was before he got into one of your petty quarrels and his mood turned sour.” Renjun says with a huff, bordering to a pissed one, but Yukhei isn’t even the least bit affected.

He just shrugs. “I didn’t know.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I asked because I thought you made up already and you’re driving him home instead. Just wanted to make sure he’s okay and that he hadn’t thrown himself in front of a bus or something.”

Mark grimaces.

But then Yukhei gives Renjun a guilty look and the latter’s face gets so contorted in anger that it was almost funny if not for the situation. “Don’t tell me—”

“I’ll fix it, okay!” Yukhei cuts him off. “I will,” he gives a noncommittal hum.

And before Mark can hear Renjun latch into an endless stream of reprimands to the other, he hastily excuses himself from the scene with the excuse of finding Jeno and Jisung. Renjun calls out a quick “see ya tomorrow!” to him before facing back the taller with so much wrath in his tiny form.

Okay, so Mark definitely did not lie. Well, half of it, at least. He knows where Jeno and Jisung are—they’re still in that Biology club meeting, most probably eating pizzas rather than actually discussing—but what he didn’t know is that the meeting will be taking longer than usual. Jisung comes up to him hastily while he awkwardly hovers in front of the door and tells him he can go home first or wait for them, either is fine. Mark assures he’ll wait up and then having nothing else to do, he opts for the restrooms.

And that’s when fate walks in and clings to Mark’s favor—as cheesy as that sounds—because when he enters the empty room, he hears a faint sniffing from the farthest cubicle followed by a muffled, “Hey, dude, uh... Is it alright if you pass me some tissues? Kinda ran out here.” A broken chuckle.

And then oh. _Oh_.

“Yeah, sure,” Mark says, in a frantic rush to roll out some.

He walks-runs towards the cubicle and for a second debates whether he should pass it over the door or under. He decides the latter would be weird so he opts for the former.

“Here, um...” he trails off as a shaky hand takes the tissues with a small thanks. “Are you alright?”

“Not alright, just okay,” the boy replies, voice quite muffled, then Mark hears him blow his nose into the napkin.

“Well, at least that’s better than not being fine at all, right?” Mark tries to offer a comfort but it comes off lame even to his ears. He silently grimaces. Gosh, he’s so bad at this. May the Goddess help him.

But then there’s a laugh, barely there but airy and light and _clear_ and Mark feels himself relaxing. He leans his shoulder onto the door.

“Wait a second. Mark, is that you?”

“The one and only,” he attempts to laugh but it comes off a little bit strangled. He wills himself to calm down.

And then the door opens which takes Mark off guard and he stumbles sidewards inside the cubicle. Thankfully, the boy catches him.

What happens next is straight out of a movie, really, Mark thinks. It’s all slow motion and sparkles and bells chiming and the whole damn zoo in Mark’s stomach.

It feels like the entire world is capsized into this moment, into them. Only them; nothing else matters. Donghyuck is smiling down on him with his gorgeous doe-eyed smile. He’s supporting Mark’s weight with both arms.

And Mark swears on his life to all the Goddesses above that Donghyuck is actually _blushing_.

Then he breaks off the moment with a loud clear of his throat, gently pushing Mark back into balance. His forearm flies up to cover half of his face as if he noticed it too.

“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asks, teasing despite his own cheeks warming up.

“Oh my God—yes. I’m so sorry.” Mark is a blabbering mess.

Donghyuck throws his head back and laughs loudly, essentially brighter this time, and gives Mark a look of amusement, shaking his head as if helpless. He seems to be back on his usual self. “Well, too bad I can only accept your apology if you’ll do me a favor right now.”

“What do you mean?” Mark blinks slowly and pushes up his glasses that had sagged from his nose.

“Go eat ice cream with me?”

And this—this is opportunity presenting itself to Mark, something that he can’t even procure from his wildest dreams. This is a once in a lifetime chance knocking at his door and waiting for him to finally realize it.

Mark can’t really say no.

So he texts his friends for the change of plans. One that is very _not_ unwelcome.

❀

Mark is simple. If he orders any type of dessert that has the cookies and cream flavor option with it, he opts for that one. This also applies with ice cream and for ice cream, cone is an always. Because yay, who doesn’t want to eat waffles, right? On the other hand, cups are a hassle and ew, you can’t eat cups.

“Are you always like this?” Donghyuck casually asks as he bites onto the plastic spoon. Mark just has to take a peek at the cup and throw a judgmental look at the yogurt that takes the color of a suspicious green. He just _has_ to.

“What do you mean?” He dares to ask.

They’re sitting outside one of the few wooden tables littered outside the ice cream parlor. Their table is facing the busking street and the direct hit of the sunset is concealed by a summer umbrella stabbed at the center of it. It’s cute and Mark is trying so hard to convince himself that this, as painful as it is, is _not_ a date.

Now, can someone remind Mark why they’re here again?

“Like, always flustered and all that,” Donghyuck gestures vaguely at him. “Easily turning into a little apple.”

Mark blushes furiously then, feeling warmth creep up his throat, crawl in his veins. He’s so embarrassed.

Donghyuck crosses his arms, watches Mark with a twinkle in his eyes. He seems to be enjoying this. “It’s cute, really. Adds to your personal charms and all.”

“Uh... thank you?”

Donghyuck continues. “You’re always like this ever since I can remember. And that is like way, way back in middle school. It’s... adorable. I thought you would lose that in you once in high school. You know, all that innocent stuff. Well, high school is certainly not all about innocence, right?”

Mark chokes on air. “Wait, you remember me in middle school?”

Donghyuck chuckles and it makes his eyes crinkle, turning them into little crescents. And goddess, Mark is _so_ whipped. “Of course I do, Mark Lee! Choir club. You were the brightest crayon in there, so of course I remember you. Do _you_ not remember me?”

Of course Mark does, that should not even be a question. That’s basically where he met Renjun and by extension, Donghyuck. Mark still remembers like it was just yesterday the first time he laid eyes on Lee Donghyuck. His breath was taken away by the sheer force of the summer boy with honey voice. It was clear as the spring day then, that he didn’t stood a chance. And while Mark and Renjun had somehow became close after that, he and Donghyuck, despite being introduced to each other, never really became close. Donghyuck hang out with his crowd, Mark did with his own.

Still, that didn’t stop Mark from harboring feelings to the boy who is way out of his league.

His insides flips and somersaults, however, that Donghyuck remembers _him_ , not the other way around. And oh my god, news flash, Donghyuck _does_ know him and that Mark was not a ghost the whole time (as he had convinced himself). He was seen. He was not a nobody to Donghyuck.

“I did,” he says and in a second of a brave moment he adds, “You were my inspiration back then.” _And still is._

Donghyuck’s eyes widen and for a moment, he was frozen in time before he coughs loudly, more like let out a strangled noise but Mark doesn’t have to embarrass him in his head more than he already is in reality, before his spoon slips out of his fingers completely. It lands in his cup with a clatter.

He then casts his gaze upwards, up, up, up until it settles back on Mark. He’s blushing fiercely and oh, the irony. Donghyuck looks cute being the little apple for once and not Mark.

Donghyuck inhales. “I—”

And before he can so much as let another word slip pass his mouth, a car goes honking a few feet from them on the road and that ultimately puts a stop to their shared moment (unfortunately).

“Babe, get in! I looked everywhere for you.” It was Yukhei. Of course it was Wong Yukhei, goddamnit.

“I gotta go. See you, Mark,” Donghyuck hurries out and his face is back to normal, carefully schooled and not so much like a bucket of cold water was poured onto him.

❀

Walking to the bus stop on a daily basis has never been a hassle to Mark, but rather an annoyance because you see, Wong Yukhei lives near his block and everyday without failure, just like today, he sees him pull out of their driveway with his IROC.

It’s a cool and sophisticated car, sure, but it’s a no match to its owner. Yukhei is nothing of those adjectives. He’s simply just a jerk. A dick. And Mark wonders what Donghyuck sees in him for the love of the goddess. Hell, he will most likely than not kick Mark’s ass if he gets a chance to take a look in his brain and find out it’s all Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck.

He watches Yukhei drive past him, all mighty and high, and he’s forced to be reminded of his own place at the moment. Standing near the bus stop, clutching to the straps of his Jansport which he’s been using for years more than necessary, his gigantic lenses perched atop his nose. No obnoxious car, nothing.

Annoyed, he fishes out his Walkman from his backpack—yes, Walkman, and you’d ask who the hell uses Walkman in 2020? It’s Mark Lee—and sticks the buds to his ears. One of his favorite songs by his favorite band plays on shuffle and he exhales a deep breath, allowing himself to drown in the music. He waits until the school bus pulls up.

He spots an empty seat near the back and he takes it, fixing his gaze out into the familiar neighborhood passing by in a blurry haste. The cacophony of leaves by the occasional trees lining some of the front yards provide a series of temporary shield for his eyes from the morning light and he basks on it gratefully. He closes his eyes.

Songs of desperation,

I played them for you

Mark can feel the bus stop and more students pouring in, but he doesn’t open his eyes.

A moment, a love

A dream aloud

A kiss, a cry

Our rights, our wrongs—

There’s a gentle tap. On his shoulder.

Mark flutters his eyes open, and in that moment, he feels the weight of the whole world fall onto his chest, clogging his airways and making his blood rush upwards toward his neck, cheeks. He feels them burn.

“D—Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck smiles down on him, soft and chaste. “Hi,” he greets, pointing to the empty seat next to Mark’s. “May I sit?”

“‘Course,” Mark mumbles, bettering himself right away.

“I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. I had fun.”

“No problem,” Mark says and he’s suddenly hyperaware of himself. Still, he sends a smile to Donghyuck. “Did you get home safely?”

“I did,” Donghyuck purses his lips and as if he can no longer hold himself back, a shy smile blooms across his lips. He’s pretty. “What about you?”

“Very well.”

Mark notes the way Donghyuck’s face flickers with light, cheeks a rosy glow and lips smacked with lip gloss. The smell of flowers in full bloom wafts through the air when the younger sits down beside him and Mark thinks it must be his cologne. He concludes right then and there that yes, this is what Donghyuck should smell. Like flowers in their full glory, so sweet and addicting and beautiful and just so _Donghyuck_. Like the honeysuckles that Taeyong keeps in their small backyard, reminding Mark of early summer days heat meant to spent at home just lazying around.

“What’re you listening to?” Donghyuck asks, eyes curious.

“Uh...” Mark trails off. He grabs one of the buds and sheepishly offers it to him. “Do you want to?”

Donghyuck smiles and takes it, plugging it into his ear. His eyes light up. “Oh! The Temper Trap! You like them too?”

Mark notes the _too_ in his words, which means Donghyuck likes the band too—and it’s not just any band, it’s The Temper Trap, Mark’s favorite band in the world—and his face lights up at the realization, cheeks popping adorably from grinning so wide.

“I do! I think they’re the best band in the world, and I take no disagreement for it.” He grins.

“Period, Mark. I wouldn’t even dare change your mind on it. Their album Thick As Thieves is just phenomenal! Out of this world. Revolutionary. Spectacular.” Donghyuck enthusiastically lists and he feels his heart being squeezed. In a good way.

“You got it!” He beams.

Never in Mark’s entire fanboy life did he imagine someone would agree on him with this one. Even his own friends betrayed him in this matter.

But here he was, sitting in the bus with Donghyuck beside him, and they’re talking animatedly and comfortably like they’ve been friends all along, bickering and laughing as they argue about their favorite songs off the album. They disagree at some point yet they also collide at some smoothly, like missing puzzle pieces fitting right into each other. Later on, he also learns about Donghyuck’s obsession over mainstream artists like Ed Sheeran.

And Mark may or may not have given him a judgmental look because Donghyuck hurries to defend himself. “What? He’s great! He may be mainstream but you cannot deny his songwriting skills, it’s top-notch!”

“Sure,” Mark narrows his eyes.

“And his love songs? Chef’s kiss,” he continues unabashedly. “Imagine being serenaded with an Ed Sheeran love song? God, I don’t think I can ever say no.”

And _shit_ , wrong move for Donghyuck, Mark thinks, because now he had unintentionally planted an idea into Mark’s mind.

Stay there

‘Cause I’ll be coming over

And while our blood’s still young

It’s so young, it runs

And won’t stop ‘til it’s over

Won’t stop to surrender

❀

“Come to think of it,” Jisung muses, lightly drumming the stick against his head. “Why did Donghyuck even take the bus? Doesn’t his boyfriend, like, pick him up and drop him home everyday?”

“Right? I was thinking about that too. Unless, err, they had a fight or something.” Jeno shrugs and goes to unplug the electrical cord off his bass. “Ten-minute break, yeah?”

Mark’s hands stop short in the middle of the mic stand and he pauses to dwell on his friends’ comments. Now that he’s thinking about it, he can’t help but to ask _yeah, why?_ Donghyuck never took the bus to school. His mind flashes a picture of the boy, trapped between Yukhei’s body and the locker, eyes sad and lacking.

But then he thinks about the boy’s twinkling eyes in the bus, or his playfulness during the ice cream date (yeah, not really), how he talked so carefree and easily like there’s nothing wrong with him at all.

So Mark sighs and proceeds to join Jeno on the couch, all threadbare and sinking, yet the comfort it offers all the same. Jeno’s basement—where all the band practices take place during weekends—is cramped and hot especially during this time of the year, but this is the place where it all started, where the trio shared their individual dreams and goals in life, as well as their dreams for the future of the band. This is where _MAD DOG_ was born and created. This room holds a special place in their hearts. They wouldn’t exchange it for the world.

“If that’s the case then you finally have your chance to advance, Hyung.” Jisung wiggles his brows playfully.

“But isn’t that always the case for them? They fight and make up, on and off like a fucking light switch. Too much toxicity in their relationship,” Jeno scrunches his nose. “This is why I avoid commitments like a plague.”

“No, you’re just a pussy, Hyung. You still haven’t even told us about that boy you kissed before.” Jisung huffs but there’s no bite to his words.

“I honestly doubt it is, guys,” Mark interjects. “I mean sure, I’ve mentioned there’s something in his eyes that told me he’s somewhat sad. But that day, in the bus, I saw it with my own eyes. How those orbs shone brightly, _happily_ , and I was almost blinded by it and lured in a—”

“Now you sound like a mediocre version of John Green.” Jeno snorts, cutting Mark short before he goes full-on book-lover-nerd mode.

“How do you even make a comparison of John Green? Unless you’re secretly reading those cheesy novels behind our backs and downright denying it on our faces.” Jisung snickers cheekily and his face is met with a throw-pillow as a response from the other.

“But did you just say Donghyuck is happy being around you?” Jeno muses and Mark nods, oblivious.

“Huh,” says Jeno.

Him and Jisung exchange knowing glances.

Jisung’s phone vibrates somewhere on the couch and Jeno picks it up first, peeking at the caller ID only to shoot a raised brow at the younger. “Zhong Chenle? Really? Since when did you two became close enough to exchange phone numbers?” He questions.

“They need updates of our presentation, duh!” Jisung sticks his tongue at him, composing himself before pressing the button. “Hello?”

“Hey! How’s practice going?”

“It’s fine, we’re halfway through it! We can show you our final output, if you’d like? Maybe we can arrange—”

“Cool! How about now? You guys can come to my house like right now, I can text you the address.” Chenle chirps.

Both Mark and Jeno, who are tuning along to the dialogue on either sides of the youngest, release a chorus of incoherent noises, presumably in a hasty voice-out of their disagreement to the invitation.

“We’re barely even halfway through it!” Mark half-whispers, half-yells.

Chenle hears him anyway. “It’s okay, Markie, I’m not really asking you guys for the presentation. It’s just that there are still lots of stuff to finish and the festival is next week. I can really make use of some help now. _Pleaseeee_?”

The three boys look at each other before coming to a single agreement. “Sure! We’d like to help you out. See you soon, then!”

❀

So there are two significant points that Chenle failed to mention during the phone conversation and one being that he’s super rich. Not just rich _rich_ but like Crazy-Rich-Asians rich.

The trio’s heads were thrown back in order to take up the overwhelming sight in front of them wholly, their mouths gaping, aghast. Chenle’s mansion stood proudly before them, all ivory-colored magnificence, tall gates, and a spacious driveway.

A guard from the guard house—only crazy rich people have a guard house by their gates—has let them in earlier, so now the boys were gingerly stalking up the wide front yard, collectively stopping on top of the flight of stairs by the gigantic front doors.

“Are we even still in Korea?” Jisung asks, breathless.

The doors open, revealing Chenle who is a whole impressive five-foot-ten but seems to shrink all of a sudden in contrast from the doors. “You made it! Come on in, guys!”

“Your home is awesome!” Jisung comments lamely, making his friends cringe inwardly.

But Chenle just laughs as he continues to lead the way, the boys trailing behind him closely like vulnerable kittens snatched away from their homes. “We’ve been waiting for you guys to arrive.”

They step out to the backyard, only to have their breaths knocked out of them once again when the grand view of a large outdoor pool was revealed.

But no, Mark’s breath isn’t knocked out of him because of the pool, oh how he wishes it is, but here it is: the second point that Chenle failed to say over the phone is that his _friends_ were here as well. And by friends, meaning Lee Donghyuck and Na Jaemin.

Maybe this was a bad idea after all. For Mark, at least.

❀

Donghyuck is rocking a pair of tube socks, the color of the stripes lining the top part a mustard yellow. They are complimented with a pair of classic Keds sneakers, the baby blue color that once have been vibrant is now reduced to a dull hue from probably being worn too many times.

Yellow and blue. The color of the sun and the sky. So in contrast with each other yet so fitting. Mark smiles at the thought.

He tries not to drool at the sight of Donghyuck by the pool, long legs splayed leisurely on the tile floor, palms propped from behind, honey skin golden and glowing from the last kiss of the afternoon sun.

Chenle had instructed them to go seat by the sun-chairs where a tray of cold lemonade drinks awaits them while he goes back inside the house to pick up some materials. Mark takes a glass and sips aggressively on his straw right away, feeling hot all of a sudden.

“I don’t think anybody needs our help here.” Jeno thinks out loud.

“Why do I feel like we were scammed by Chenle’s scheme?” Jisung pouts, poking out the little umbrella from his drink and twirling it with his fingers. “Not that I am complaining, though. Tis a nice break.”

Before Mark can add his thought, he faintly hears Donghyuck talking to his friend, or more like whining. “Quit rubbing your _amazing_ swimming skills on my face just because I can’t swim!” His voice is dripping with sarcasm.

Jaemin resurfaces from the water, shaking droplets from his wet locks. He’s grinning from ear to ear, smug, obviously complacent from the reminder of Donghyuck’s flaw. “Why did you think I got those swimming lessons last su—”

He stops mid-sentence, eyes going the size of a saucer and mouth hanging open when he stares at Mark’s direction, unable to look away despite what his brain tells him to.

“Shit.” Someone from their group mutters under their breath and Mark realizes a second too late that is was coming from Jeno.

His neck pivots around so quickly he almost gave himself whiplash just to shoot his friend a questioning look. “Shit what?”

Jisung visibly huffs out, his attention now drawn to the pair of boys by the pool. “Hyung, I know he’s hot and all with that bare chest and amazing calfs but you didn’t have to cu—”

“It’s him.”

“Him what?”

“The boy at the swimming lessons.”

“The boy you _kissed_?” Mark fills in, almost in disbelief. He gives his friend a fleeting gaze from up to down, checking to see if he’s being serious. But judging from Jeno’s pale-as-a-ghost face and shaking hands, he doesn’t think he’s given any motive to suspect. So he shakes his head instead. “You kissed _The_ Na Jaemin?”

“Crap! I didn’t know he would be here.” Jeno mutters through gritted teeth.

 _Same,_ Mark agrees in his head.

“No way you did, Hyung! I mean sure, Na Jaemin kisses all the hot guys he puts his hands on but you’re short of that word.”

Jeno throws Jisung a menacing glare who immediately makes a theatrical show of zipping his mouth shut and goes back to sipping on his drink instead. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Hey, Lee Jeno!”

Jaemin is back on his ear-to-ear grin, all white teeth and round eyes and is now stalking up to them in confident strides despite his lack of clothing, Donghyuck in tow. The latter throws a towel over his shoulders, muttering something under his breath that Mark couldn’t catch from the distance.

Jaemin stops in front of them, his smug grin now replaced by a sweet, chaste smile of nothing malicious. “So nice to see you again up close ever since those _long_ summer days we spent all over each other.”

“W—What?” Jeno sputters, so flustered that his cheeks, ears and neck are painted a bright crimson.

Mark and Jisung both subsequently choke on their juice, earning a loud, breathy laugh from Donghyuck.

Mark gazes at him through his glasses, mouth left hanging open for the tiny insects to enter—if there is any—as he stops mid-sip to completely focus on Donghyuck laughing. He mentally notes the way his nose scrunches, eyes shaping into slits, heart-shaped mouth stretching from the gesture. _Pretty_ , his mind supplies.

But then he hears his honey-like voice and he’s instantly pulled out from his stupor, back to reality where the very boy is standing in front of him. “He’s probably lying,” Donghyuck assures them. “Jaemin has this weird flair for dramatics.”

But Jaemin just ignores him, doesn’t even refute the rumor and his friend’s blatant claim about him. Instead, he keeps his gaze locked with Jeno who tries so hard to keep up with the intense eye contact despite his whole face being a fiery shade of red.

“So how’s your butterfly strokes, Jeno? Any improvements? Or better: do you still need my guidance, perhaps?” He winks, taking a bold step closer to the flushed boy.

“Bull— crap. I—I don’t! Since when did I ever needed your guidance? Swimming is as easy as brushing your teeth!” Jeno huffs.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, amused, his grin stretching impossibly even wider. “Alright,” he nods. Once. “I challenge you into a match then.”

“What?” Mark blurts out amidst the sudden silence that befalls over the five boys, but Donghyuck just throws him a little adorable shrug as if telling him nonverbally _that’s Jaemin for you_ and Mark blushes. Crap indeed.

Silence instills continually among them as the spectators watch with silent anticipation between the growing stare-down of the pair before Jeno finally heaves a long, shaky breath and nods firmly his answer.

“Fine.”

He sidesteps Jaemin with one last brave glance and proceeds to stalk his way to the poolside, stopping short and taking his shirt off bristly. “Sungie, serve as the watch, will ya?” He demands over his shoulder.

“Aye!” Jisung scurries off to his side.

“Yah, Lee Jeno! Don’t think I’ll go easy on you!” Jaemin calls out happily, skipping on his steps and haphazardly throwing away the towel previously clinging on his shoulders.

Soon, aggressive splashes of water resonates throughout the massive outdoor space after Jisung whistled the signal. Chenle comes barreling back in the scene clutching a huge box, only to find the ongoing match on the pool, Jisung flailing his arms as he cheers enthusiastically for his friend, Mark and Donghyuck laughing their asses off by the sun-chairs.

“Wait, what’s happening? What did I miss?” He bombards the pair with questions, a slight pout tainting his otherwise bright face. He clumsily lets the box fall out of his grip, its contents clattering from the impact.

“Jaemin challenged Jeno to a match and now this.” Donghyuck giggles.

Chenle’s face lights up. “And without me? Not on my watch! As the host of this home, it’s my duty to make this more fun!”

Then, before either of the pair can make out something of what he just said, Chenle goes dashing off towards them, fast as a lightning, light on his feet and in the blink of an eye, he’s pushing Jisung to the water. He follows suit without missing a beat, squawking like a pigeon as he dives to the wet surface. Jisung, the poor child, looks so confused and shocked when he resurfaces, only for Chenle to splash some water to his face harshly.

❀

“Mark...”

Mark looks up from the butcher paper they were decorating for the summer festival. He hums gently, tossing the marker aside to show he’s all in. The art materials were scattered messily on the wide table: scissors, glue, colored papers, black markers and colored ones, along with some stickers, glitters, and stamps.

Donghyuck has a nice penmanship, Mark thinks. It’s not like he expected less of it but somehow, seeing it up close for him to confirm makes him feel all mushy inside. It’s very feminine-like but at the same time bold and angular, precise with the strokes and careful with the curves. Mark’s was scrawny and boyish so he just settles on coloring the borders instead and decking it with some cute stickers.

Donghyuck is sitting cross-legged on the couch while Mark is perched on a single-person sofa across from him.

They were on Chenle’s open-space lounging area, overlooking the pool in which a series of loud laughter can still be heard coming from their friends. They were playing tag. In the water. The supposed match was long forgotten.

As it turns out, in contradiction to their earlier belief, Chenle really did need some help. Donghyuck had explained that they needed some extra hands because Jaemin doesn’t ever do anything related to school works. Like ever, quoted Donghyuck. He also apologized because Chenle bailed on their expected task but Mark just laughed and apologized for his own friends’ childishness.

Sunlight is pouring over Donghyuck’s face in a few rays, accentuating the beautiful chocolate brown color of his eyes—the very same pair that is peering at Mark right now, so piercing that it makes Mark’s breath hitch and caught up in this throat.

He had promised Taeyong that he’ll be home by dinner, and night is fast approaching, but he wishes that he can prolong this moment with Donghyuck. Alone together, with the sunlight caressing his sweet face. It was a sight to see. So breathtaking.

“Have you ever been in love?” After a moment’s hesitation, Donghyuck finally manages to roll the question out of his tongue, out of his mind.

It throws Mark off and he puts his head down, suddenly finding the boy’s gaze unbearable. A rush of conflicting feelings surge through his brain and there’s uncertainty whether he should be honest with his answer or not.

What if he says yes and Donghyuck will get the wrong idea? He doesn’t want him to think he’s in love with somebody else. But if he says no, he’s sure that guilt will eat him up as long as he lives. It’s a now-or-never situation. He can’t let this singular chance to pass with regrets. Most importantly, Donghyuck deserves the truth.

“Yes.” _With you_.

Donghyuck smiles, sweet and genuine. “And what’s it like?”

Mark shrugs, pursing his lips. “It’s the best feeling, I guess. Like the world is so bright and nothing can go wrong in it. And you feel so alive when you see that person, but at the same time it feels like you’re dying because your breath is knocked the hell out of you.” He finishes with bashfulness, rubbing at his nape in an attempt to brush away the tickling feeling crawling up the back of his neck.

Yet, his eyes were gleaming with a new-found light as he lays out his heart for Donghyuck to either poke at, accept and reciprocate, or crush it with his own hands but Mark doesn’t mind whichever way.

Donghyuck nods slowly, gaze never leaving Mark’s face as if searching, unrelenting, so vehement and willing to go deeper into the abyss. Mark doesn’t know what to do with this attention. He’s not even sure if he should be hopeful or start worrying that Donghyuck is giving him this look.

“And if you were to give that someone a special gift, what would it be?” He asks, tilting his head to the side.

“A song.” Mark says.

“So you should sing.” He quirks a brow at him, complacent, and he leans back on the soft cushion of the couch.

“What?” Mark sputters.

“Let’s pretend I’m that person, Mark.” _But you are_ , Mark thinks desperately. “Sing a song to me. The song that you want that someone to hear.”

Mark was about to protest—partly because of embarrassment and partly because he’s afraid something goes wrong—but Donghyuck was smiling at him and he drops everything right then. The boy jerks his chin towards a corner and Mark turns around to find an acoustic guitar nestled securely on a stand. Mark didn’t know it was there until now.

He picks it up and goes back down, clearing his throat. “Okay. Don’t get weirded out or something.” He mumbles with a chuckle as his fingers hover above the strings.

“I’m listening.” Donghyuck assures.

“Truly, madly, deeply I am

Foolishly, completely falling

And somehow you kicked all my walls in

So baby say you’ll always keep me

Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love

With you.”

Mark stops the song and for a second he’s afraid to look at Donghyuck in the eyes. He does anyway.

“Beautiful.” Donghyuck whispers and he sounds breathless.

 _No,_ you _are beautiful_ , Mark wants to say but obviously doesn’t. “Thank you.”

Mark gives him a bright smile and goes back to return the guitar exactly how he picked it up earlier.

“So, uh,” he clears his throat. “What’s with these weird questions? Are you planning to give your boyfriend a gift or something?”

“Yukhei? No.” Donghyuck gives him a blank stare. “To be honest, the way you just explained love made me realize that I wasn’t really in love with him.”

Mark was surprised. “B—But, to be fair, we all have our own definition of love. I’m sure you do too. And you should follow what your heart says, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck’s mouth twitches upward and it stays there as he fixes the other with an amused expression. Mark’s heartbeat skyrockets. “But that’s the thing, Mark. I agree with you. The way you see love is actually aligned with mine and I just realized that.”

Mark’s heart flutters and he blinks rapidly, all the words painfully caught up in his throat. He tries to find the right words to respond to Donghyuck’s statement but his mind is running fuzzy. So many thoughts were swirling in his brain yet it feels so empty. All white noise and blood rushing in his veins, frantic and in a rush to find its place to settle on.

“I broke up with Yukhei.”

“What?”

“I broke up with him for good. Last week, in fact.”

“But why?”

“Like I said. I wasn’t really in love with him. I was so confused about what I felt for him. Now that I found what love really is, I think I can confirm it now.” Donghyuck sounds so sure.

“B—But how are you so sure now? Unless you’re... in love?”

Donghyuck smiles at him. He nods once. “I think I am.”

❀

That night, Donghyuck learns where Mark lives.

That night also, Mark comes home breathless and confused and so in love—god so so _so_ truly, madly, deeply, foolishly, completely and crazy in love with Lee Donghyuck. If only he knows. If only he knows that he’s the person Mark was absolutely in love with, that he’s the person Mark wanted to sing to, that the song was for him—and mushy that he feels like his knees would buckle in and give up on him completely.

He leans against the front door, not moving as if glued to the surface. Taeyong, his older brother and perpetual listener, walks up to him worriedly, asks what’s wrong and _why_ he’s so breathless.

Mark just shakes his head and tells him it was because he ran the entire length of their front lawn all the way to the front door as soon as he jumped out of Chenle’s car.

Taeyong doesn’t buy it, of course.

❀

Mark has had slightly innumerable yet notable dreams about Lee Donghyuck in the entirety of his long-time crush on the boy. Take for example, that one particular night during his sophomore year when he had a dream about Donghyuck ringing on his bell in the middle of the night. For some reasons Mark can’t explain even up until now, Donghyuck had kissed him silly. Right dead on their doorstep, taking his breath away easily, profoundly. And it was _magical_.

Six years. Six long, faithful, uneventful years of crushing over Donghyuck had Mark constantly wonder how his lips taste like—how his kisses feel like.

Maybe it tastes like honey, just like his voice. Maybe it tastes sweet like the cologne he uses that smells of varying combinations of flowers in full bloom during the heart of summertime. Maybe it tastes like the strawberry-flavored chapstick that he uses—one that makes those beautiful, tempting lips of his glimmer in the daylight.

Maybe it tastes like the sun because for Mark, he _is_ the sun. But then he supposes the sun doesn’t even have a taste. It’s just a monstrous, hot, fiery ball of death that is bigger than the planet he was living on.

Mark was convinced that he’s swerving in the road to insanity in this sleepless night and stops himself before he can go in that road path. He tries to close his eyes and shut off the whirling of thoughts about Donghyuck and his goddamn kisses. He really needs to get some sleep. The pre-summer festival is tomorrow and the last thing he wants is for his mind to fly off elsewhere.

But his efforts prove to be futile when he hears a faint tap on his window. He shivers under his blanket and hides his face from the dark surroundings.

Another tap. Then comes another.

Mark is starting to _lose_ his balls.

The tappings become incessant and Mark thinks it isn’t coincidental anymore. He takes a sharp glance to the clock on his nightstand, the neon numbers showing it was halfway past midnight. He contemplates on his next move and gingerly stands from the bed, tiptoeing his way to the window so as not to alert his potential killer.

Thankfully, it wasn’t a killer he finds. Surprisingly, it was rather a person who holds a lesser possibility to be standing outside Mark’s window in the middle of the night than a serial killer.

“Donghyuck?”

“Will you please let me in, Mark?”

There’s a lilt in his voice that Mark couldn’t quite wrap his finger around with but he shakes that thought off and opens the window wider so Donghyuck can squeeze his way in.

Mark watches with wild amusement—more like absurdity—as Donghyuck settles for his desk chair. Is this real? Is Lee Donghyuck really in his room? Is Mark’s sophomore dream finally unfolding to life? Being the difference is that he didn’t ring, he freaking tapped on Mark’s window.

Hold on— so does this mean the next thing that is going to happen is the—

Mark shakes his head vigorously. He clears his throat. “So, uh... Are you not gonna tell me anything? Like why you’re out at midnight in a _school night_?”

Donghyuck chuckles. “I was at Yukhei’s place.”

“Yukhei? Didn’t you tell me you guys had broke up?” Mark asks, befuddled.

“We did. But he called me up and said he wanted to talk. So we did and obviously it didn’t end well. I walked out and now here I am, tada?”

Mark exhales deeply. “Donghyuck, I know you know I don’t know crap about how romantic relationships work but I think you just made an ugly mess and you need to fix it.”

“Fix what?” Donghyuck was almost incredulous. “There’s nothing to fix, Mark. Sometimes, things just don’t work out the way you wanted it to be and sometimes, not having a closure is the closure itself.”

Mark nods slowly and goes to sit on his bed. He lets the silence reign over them for a moment as he observes Donghyuck chew on his lips anxiously, waiting for him to just pour out all the thoughts that are bothering him.

“I guess...” Donghyuck begins thoughtfully. “I guess I was just tired of it all. The life I took, it wasn’t me. I feel bad for Yukhei and for leading him on. We never really liked nor agreed on the same things. We always clashed and it wasn’t healthy anymore. He doesn’t get my jokes and told me I have an off sense of humor. Heck, he doesn’t even listen to the same songs as mine.”

“Like... The Temper Trap?” Mark blurts out, unsure in a small and strained voice, but still smiles a little.

Donghyuck returns the smile and nods. “Yeah, like The Temper Trap.”

They stare at each other for a long stretch of time and Mark feels himself being pulled in those eyes. There’s something so powerful in them and just utterly luring and marvelous that he feels like gravitating into it, like strong magnets drawn to each other—an attraction that, to Mark, is stronger than the gravitational forces of the earth.

It dawns on Mark just then that his room was completely embraced by a looming darkness. The only source of light is coming from the translucent moon far away above which peeks through his window, letting its hands cradle Donghyuck’s face in them, as soft as the light it gives to the room.

Donghyuck pulls away first. A bright tint of red adorns his cheeks that didn’t escape from Mark as he drops his gaze, picking on the book perched on top of the desk instead. “So, um, you read J.R.R. Tolkien’s works?”

“The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit trilogies are my favorite series.”

Donghyuck’s face lights up instantly and Mark thought for a moment the sun had risen from the horizons. “No shit, Mark. Mine too!”

And that’s a whole hour spent away chatting about the series and their favorites things like books, movies, songs, hobbies and just about everything their eager minds drift off to. Mark finds out that they share a lot in common, how their preferences and dislikes are almost aligned with each other.

Mark finds out that Donghyuck is human too who has his own flaws, insecurities and shortcomings in life.

Mark learns that he is indeed a star who shines so bright but it’s okay if he’s not up there in the heavens because this is where he belongs, to his friends, his loved ones and for Mark to witness up close. Raw and stripped and pure.

They laugh and talk—poor Taeyong who’s just trying to sleep—like there’s no tomorrow until they’re reminded of the time and that Donghyuck needed to come home.

“So, Mark, how’s the performance going? Excited for tomorrow?” Donghyuck asks while they wait for his ride to pull up on Mark’s driveway.

“I’m a bit uneasy to be honest but nonetheless, we’re good to go,” Mark beams, adjusting his glasses. “Thankfully, Chenle allowed us to add a second song.”

“Oh, really?” Donghyuck’s brows quirk up in curiosity. “What have you decided on?”

“It’s a secret. But I’ve prepared a lot for it. Hopefully nothing goes wrong.”

“A secret, huh. But I’m sure it’ll go the way you want it to.”

There’s a low rumbling of tires against asphalt from outside Mark’s window and Donghyuck hops to his feet. Mark opens the window for him and he slides outside with ease.

“Well, this has been a pleasant night, Mark, I had so much fun. Good night!” He grins and waves his hand enthusiastically at the boy. He turns around on his heel, ready to dash off towards the waiting car before Mark abruptly calls out to him. He turns back.

“And Donghyuck?” Mark was blushing madly. He prays to all the goddesses who can hear him in the dead of the night that Donghyuck won’t notice it. “Please look forward to it.”

Donghyuck smiles, sweet and gentle. “I will.”

Then, in a swift motion that caught Mark temporarily paralyzed on his spot, Donghyuck was on his tiptoes and lands the sweetest, gentlest, fastest of pecks on the cheek high above Mark’s pretty cheekbones. The latter finds himself lovestruck than ever before, his grip tightening on the windowsill so hard his knuckles turn white.

And just like that, Donghyuck’s gone, vanishing into the sweet night—as fast as he appeared on Mark’s window—like a fever dream. Except it was real.

 _He_ was real.

❀

“Oh, look! Hyung, Jaemin had gone lengths to support you tonight. Oh what love doesn’t do to no one." Jisung snickers cheekily, spotting Jaemin among the crowd who’s already happily flailing a bright pink banner over his head with a “Lee Jeno” printed on the center and some hand-made paper cutouts of various-colored hearts decked to each sides. Miraculously, Renjun is sitting beside him. Unsurprisingly, he looks like he’s a breath away from disowning his friend.

“Oh spare me of the headache,” Jeno sulkily huffs out from above him, an obvious blush creeping on his cheeks.

“Stop acting like you’re not completely smitten over the boy, Jeno.” Mark counters rather amused.

They were huddled over one another, heads slightly peeking out from the thick mask of velvet curtains that separate them from the huge crowd.

Chenle probably downplayed the whole festival thing, saying there will only be a small audience from their school. Yet, the whole student body seem to be present, including the teachers and staffs, and even people of sorts from their town.

“Oh, there’s Donghyuck too!”

“Are y’all guys ready?” Chenle comes barreling brightly to the scene, holding a clipboard close to his chest.

“Yes, we are, captain!” Jisung salutes and sends the older a smooth wink that sends even the confident one in a blushing mess.

The band dispels toward their own positions, Mark taking the lead on the front and slinging the handle to his guitar over his head with a loud clear of his throat in an attempt to vanish his sudden nervousness.

“Hyung, good luck on the plan! I hope it goes your way perfectly.” Jeno grins from his position to Mark’s right, the bass guitar that Jeno adores so much like his own lovechild already cradled in his arms.

“May the odds be in favor with Mark tonight and that by the end of the night, he is no longer lonely and single.” Jisung smiles so benevolently that Mark can’t bring it in him to get annoyed.

“Thanks guys,” he smiles back.

Mark thinks of that midnight when Donghyuck had pecked him on the cheek so softly and he thinks of his friends’ enthusiastic encouragements and support. He holds on to those. He clears his throat once again and gathers the confidence he needs.

The curtains slide hastily, revealing them all at once and the crowd begins to cheer in an instant. Mark screams into his mic to get the crowd fired up and they begin to sing their first song, one that is more uplifting and gets the audience up their feet—a cover of Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus.

The blending of noises by the band, the crowd cheering, and the others singing along to the song resonate through the open field area, making Mark’s blood pump so vigorously like hammer to a nail, making his adrenaline rush—making him _alive_.

There’s a massive bonfire right on the centerfield, providing the light to the audience as the skies above beam a starless night upon them. Mark spots Donghyuck amidst the sea of people and he’s so beautiful. His tanned skin was illuminated by the fire, making it a rich copper, making _him_ shine so bright among the others as he dances to Mark’s words. A golden apparition. So gorgeous and unreal.

The song comes to an end and this time Mark strums his guitar softly, allowing a minute for the crowd, as well as himself, to come down from their high.

“So uh, this next song is for someone special to me,” Mark says and the crowd gives a chorus of howls, whistles and awe. “This someone... I’ve been in love with hopelessly for six years but just couldn’t bring myself to say it straight to their face because I’m a coward.” The crowd laughs.

“One day, he asked me if I were to give my special someone a gift, then what would it be? A song, I said. So I sung, poured my heart out, but he didn’t know. So now here I am, about to pour my heart out the second time for this lovely person. This time, however, no more hiding. This goes to you, Lee Donghyuck, this song is for you.”

The crowd squeals in joy and Mark begins the strumming to the song. He sings.

“You look so beautiful in this light

Your silhouette over me

The way it brings out the blue in your eyes

Is the Tenerife Sea

And all of the voices surrounding us here

They just fade out when you take a breath

Just say the word and I will disappear

Into the wilderness”

They locked eyes and in that moment, everything else ceases to exist and it’s just the two of them—Mark singing the song of his heart to Donghyuck. Everything else stops moving, put out of focus, reduced to a blur, forgotten insignificantly, like time is especially suspended for this moment alone. For them alone.

“Should this be the last thing I see

I want you to know it’s enough for me

‘Cause all that you are

Is all that I’ll ever need

I’m so in love, so in love

So in love, so in love

Lumière, darling

Lumière over me”

❀

“ _MAD DOG_ is going big, baby!” Jeno hurls as soon as they stepped in the backstage. They’re drenched in sweat but Jeno still gathers them toward one another and hugs his bandmates for the great show they had put on.

“The world is not ready for us.” Jisung hums in satisfaction.

Jaemin’s squeals echo throughout the cramped space which only means the pair had snuck their way in there, most probably by Chenle’s help.

“Oh, we’re just gonna leave you then.” Jeno mutters smugly, dragging along Jisung and the newly-arrived and befuddled Jaemin with him outside.

Mark stands there and lo and behold, Donghyuck comes into view, half panting and sweating yet his eyes glimmer with delight as soon as he spots the boy.

“What a pleasant surprise it was, Mark.” He greets, teasing.

“D—Did you like it?”

Donghyuck doesn’t respond and covers Mark’s mouth with his instead, taking the latter by surprise. At first, Mark couldn’t believe it,—Donghyuck is _kissing him_ , god knows how many times he had dreamt for this moment to happen—doesn’t know how to respond and his heavy breathing starts fogging up his glasses, turning his world—just Donghyuck really, but whatever, it’s still the same—into a blur, so he closes his eyes instead and starts relishing, getting lost, in the beautiful moment.

“That was a foul play, you know,” Donghyuck whispers into his mouth, tone playful and _sexy._ May the Goddess have mercy on Mark. “How am I supposed to say no to that?”

“Do you want to?” Mark whispers back, breathless.

“I could never.”

Donghyuck smashes their lips again and captures Mark’s jaw while he lets the latter’s curious hands travel to wherever they land on his body. Curious, eager, _hungry._ Soon, Donghyuck slips his tongue in Mark’s mouth and their kiss easily escalates to a heated, ardent, open-mouthed one as they explore and discover the taste of each other.

Mark doesn’t really know what he’s doing, he’s _never_ kissed someone before, but Donghyuck doesn’t seem to mind thankfully and Mark just follows his lead. And oh boy is Mark a fast learner.

Mark thinks that Donghyuck tastes of all the things he imagined he would be. He tastes like honey, he tastes sweet like his cologne and that strawberry chapstick he uses, everything all at once. And it fits because Donghyuck is exactly like that. He is everything all at once, so overwhelming and way up there yet something Mark still dares to reach.

And he did.

“I’ve got two tickets to The Temper Trap show on Friday. Come with me?” Donghyuck beams when they parted, leaving Mark to want more. He wanted to taste him some more, have him all to himself some more.

“Yes.”

And so Mark pulls him in once more.

**Author's Note:**

> in case anyone is wondering, here are the songs i used:  
> ♡ the temper trap - sweet disposition  
> ♡ one direction - truly, madly, deeply  
> ♡ ed sheeran - tenerife sea
> 
> thank you so much! ( ◠‿◠ )


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